So it's been a long time since my last post. That's ok, today's is going to be short, and until I can work out my kids back in school, working more and trying to keep up with the house, things are going to be far and few between. Life just gets busy

So since my last post I have done a six mile long run, and run the CVS 5k in PRovidence. That was a great race, very flat course and my running buddy stayed with me for the whole run, it was fun. I turned my ankle a bit in a pot hole and am just starting to feel better from that. The extended runs irritated my IT band, which has been annoying. TKD has been great cross training, my IT issues always feel less so after a class, so that's good.

I received some hand me overs from a good friend yesterday which has inspired me to be more conscious of what I am eating so I can better fit into the new clothes. My husband recently lost 18 pounds by dropping soda and running more. Totally not fair at all if you ask me. But I think I am ready to put the work into it. I just need to do it.

Butterfly 5K

Today was the Butterfly 5K. The forecast called for cloudy with showers. It was a beautiful sunny day which made the run brutal. It was hot, really hot. And although it is billed as a net downhill race, it sure as hell didn't feel like a net downhill. Lots of walking was needed to get through it, but I started running and finished running and listened to my body and all is well. There was a lot for the kids to do and they had kids races after the main race, so although I added 4 minutes to my last 5k time, it was a successful day.

Enjoying a banana while the kids get ready to race

Go Kevin!!!

Go Brian!!!

Partners in Crime

Yay! It's over!

Next Race and Other Thoughts

I am taking tomorrow and Saturday off, and running a 5k on Sunday. Yesterday we did some fun speed work at the track, yes I said fun, and today I did a run walk with the newest member of our running group who is working on the couch to 5k program. That was a nice change of pace, I have to say. Very chatty group this morning and it was nice to feel like I was going to make it through that run without question. I do have to say that the running is feeling good. It has been pretty hot and humid, so it's been difficult, but I feel good after the runs. TKD has been ramping up the challenges which is good too. Though I was almost in tears from the across the floor wheelbarrow pushups last night. Not pleased with my work on those.

I am finally starting to take my eating seriously. It is going to take a while to have it all make sense and for me to stop craving the crap I so love. I went through yesterday with no refined carbs, such as crackers or bread or anything like that. That is HUGE for me since I have often gone for entire weeks with no fruits or vegetables. I tried Amazing Super Meal in my smoothie this morning, and it wasn't bad. I was educated on the evils of creamer by JRTRUNR, so I think that the cup of coffee in front of me, may just be the last with creamer. Maybe I can just get rid of it altogether. I've cut out the caffeine already, it's just for the taste of it now. So what's the point? I've cut out soda. Now it's juts the rest of the crap that I always feel so entitled to. I am taking my boys to the movies tomorrow. Do I get popcorn? Maybe I just need to buckle down and say no. We also are having my nephew's birthday party. I'm going to try to make side salads from vegetables more than pasta and have fruit and veggies out in addition to the crap everyone else wants. In another thought, has anyone tried coconut water?

I see a lot of people posting everything they eat in their blogs. I'm not thinking that that is what I want to do here, but if it helps, I may end up doing it just to keep myself honest

Oh and in a I can't believe how crazy my kids are side note: the first Christmas list of 2009 is officially sitting by the fireplace. Lord help me.

Four!

Today had a few firsts for me.

I ran alone for the first time today,

I ran four miles in a training run for the first time,

I ran without music (which, ok, I've done that before, but not alone, so that's a first of sorts).

I walked in the two hills in the run, in miles two and three, and I am ok with that. I ran very slow ( I actually have no idea how long it took me), and I am ok with that. I felt like I may pass out when I got home, and I was kind of ok with that. I took a cold shower that didn't take, I know that because I was sweating well after I dried off, that annoyed me but made me laugh at how gross it was. I discovered that I can do anything with gum. Without gum I feel like my mouth is full of sandpaper, which is awfully distracting. So I make sure I have some gum. I learned today that anything more than four miles is going to need a replacement piece of gum. I learned that I can say some nice encouraging things to myself when I am running, I can also be pretty awful, it depends on how the run is going.

I don't time myself, I don't pace myself. I map a run, do my best, slow down as much as I need and aim to at least start and finish the run, running. If I have to walk a little, I'm ok with that. Who am I chasing? Who am I competing with? Myself. And the myself of a year ago couldn't even think about what I did today. I did something today that a year ago I would have laughed at the mere thought of doing. So I'm good. I had a great run today. I have a race next Sunday and I will not be crazy about it, I will start it running, I will finish it running and what happens in between will be fine.

Working it

So our run yesterday ended up being our usual 2.75. We had a nice easy run and are going to complement it with another nice easy run today.

Our fearless leader sent this message out.

Wednesday we will meet at Rhodes on the Pawtuxet (Shriners Parking lot). This will be a hill repeat workout. The plan is to head out toward Narragansett Blvd and weave our way up and down each street between the Blvd and Broad Street. The hills are very short and the flats are long. It shouldn't be too hard a run and if you get burned out you can easily cut back to Rhodes.

Brace yourselves, it might bring out more crying.

On a different note, I have been inspired to start paying more attention to what I eat. My shorts and pants aren't fitting quite as well as I would like them too. So it's time to buckle down. It's only a few pounds, but those are sometimes the hardest. So hopefully I can keep myself honest here. I rarely weigh myself. I tend to go by my clothes. So here's to my pants fitting better!!

A Little Background

So, let's just get a little background on me. I am 37 (ugh), I have two boys ages 8 and 9 (362 days apart, can you say crazy?). I also have an almost 17 year old nephew who lives with us. My husband is awesome, a better housewife than I am. And we have a fish, a hamster and two greyhounds. I have never been interested in running, per se. Every once in a while I would try it, hate it and stop (mostly in a turnover period of about 24 hours). Most recently I started in order to prepare for a belt test for Tae Kwon Do. I know how much I dislike running, so I knew that I would have to take my time working into it. I have another post that goes a little into how I started running, so I will keep more to the process to date.

We started the Couch Potato to 5K in January with a goal to run a race in June. May I say, the creator of that program is a genius. If you asked me a year ago if I would consider running a 5k, my answer would have been "never". I laughed at runners. Idiots, who actually enjoys that kind of thing? But dig me, I did it. I didn't do it on my own, and I have the utmost respect for people that can decide to do this on their own and do it. We have a good sized group of people run together and without them, I'd not be writing this little background. I ran the race on my own, but the only thing that gets me up to run at 6:00 is the fact that there are people waiting for me to meet them.

I've struggled with the running. I have a lot of problems breathing, and I had/have a lot of problems with my legs. I have very flat feet, which in turn throws the rest of my body out of alignment. I see a chiropractor weekly and we decided that I should try stabilizers in my shoes. So I had a fancy pair made just for me and lo and behold, my legs don't hurt anymore. My knees which always hurt, don't hurt near as much. Holy Moly. Now I can work on my breathing. Which I have finally figured out.

I always snickered at the thought that you should be able to have a conversation while you are running. That means you are at a good pace. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Who on Earth could have a conversation and run at the same time. Well guess what. I can!! This is the first week that I have been able to do it. My pace sits at about a 12:00 mile, which is fine. I don't care. I'm running and talking and starting to enjoy it. I get it. I have finally conquered breathing at a good pace.

Now my next task is distance. I have done two miles without stopping to walk. So now I am working on increasing that. It's a little bit at a time. And with the help of our fearless leader, we all do speedwork once a week.

So that's me in a nut shell. You can visit my other blog to see more about me.

And the first week is done

So I ran 3.2 today and it felt good. Wow. I felt like I could have gone further, but I want to go slow so I don't end up hurt! Resting on the weekend and back on Monday!!

Off Day

Or rather...day off!! No running, no TKD and I am very very happy about that, though I feel like I should be doing something, but the day is almost over, so I'll get over that quickly. Speedwork in the am and then running stairs at night make for a very tired me. SO....the plan is four miles tomorrow morning, though if it rains, I'm sleeping in and doing it Saturday. And that will end my first week of serious training for The Amica Marathon Relay.

Meanwhile, day off!!!!

Speedwork was Created by Satan

I had two great runs this week. I was so very happy and pleased with myself. Then we did speedwork today. And I wanted to cry. There is nothing that is more humbling than speedwork. Today we did mini relays, except they weren't really like relays, they were relays from hell, because when you are running around the track at a fast pace, your little relay team is walking or slow jogging around the track. SO....if you aren't a fast runner in general, when you run your fast pace, you aren't just doing one lap, it's more like one and a half or three quarters. Which you don't really realize until you think you are almost done with your first turn and you look for your team and dammit they are on the other side of the track now. Son of a..... There was a lot of swearing on my part today. A tiny bit of walking during two of my turns and a minor hissy fit or two in my head and out loud as well. It wasn't pretty. Lucky for us, it took longer than our fearless leader had planned, so instead of the 5 turns we each were supposed to take, we each only did three turns. Which worked out well for me, because halfway through my first turn I already had it in my head that there was no way on God's green earth that 5 turns were physically possible for me. I am sure that I could have somehow done it, but at the time, there was no way in my mind that it was going to happen. See? mental.

And lucky for us our fearless leader brought his camera to get some nice action shots for everyone.

Look, I'm almost happy.
Take one more picture and I may

just kill you. Sorry, It's not very lady

like

Yup, I Get it, for Now

Today was an easy 2 mile out and back. I ran the whole thing ( umm WOOO HOOO). This is the second run in a week during which I was able to do a full two miles without stopping. Again, I was going at a very easy pace, but I held a conversation again and it felt good. I officially began training yesterday for a 6.25 portion of the Amica Marathon Relay this fall. So I have focus, I have a goal and that is making a huge difference in my motivation to get up in the morning. Yes, yes it's only day two, but it feels different with a definite goal. I'll see how I feel on Saturday when I'm running on my own, something I really haven't done yet.

I Think I Get it Now

The best thing that could have happened to my running is the new people that are continually joining our running group. Most of the people that run are runners. They immediately go out to the front of the pack and there they stay. But one, Beach Girl, is someone who is more my speed. She is an amazing runner to me in that she just decided that she was going to run, and she ran. She ran a 5k as a matter of fact. But she is human about it and is at the back of the pack with me. She likes to walk hills and sets mini goals for herself. I ran almost the entire way this morning, except for the hills that we walked, and I am so grateful to have a partner in crime in the back with me.

I am learning to listen to my body. Today, I did not listen to my music, I had a conversation, and I was able to breathe the whole time. Can you believe that? I was able to breathe the whole time. Now, mind you, I was only running a 12:00 pace, but I did it, I ran, I talked and I actually enjoyed myself. I enjoyed the run today. It was hot and humid and I enjoyed the run. I enjoyed the run. I cannot believe I am saying that.

All of the articles are right, and I am starting to get an instinct about what is right for me. I'm adapting a 10k training program to get ready for a marathon relay in October. I knew the minute I looked at the program that is was way too ambitious for me. And the Pilot confirmed it and reinforced what I was thinking about a program. We will probably get together to set a better program, but I have a skeleton, and I am, I have to say, excited. So there it is. I enjoyed my run today, I am looking forward to a short out and back tomorrow, and I can't believe I enjoyed my run.

How's the running going?

Oh I am so glad you asked. It's at a standstill for the moment, work and a cold got in the way this week, but on any given day I can give a thousand excuses for not running. I am envious of the people that can say, I'm gonna start running, and by God they do and do it very well. I am considering going out on my own just to prove to myself that I can do it on my own. It's such a mental sport. If you can't get out of your brain, you aren't going to make it. And I'm all up in my brain, so it's hard and I have zero ambition to push myself. I have a hard time with my breathing right now and I can slow down to get myself back together, but you know what, it sucks seeing everyone pull so far away from me. Waaaaah, I know, poor me. Let's get the violins out. So I will buck up and push through my little slump. When I look at the fact that never in 36 years, did I ever really try to run, I'm doing ok. When I look at it realistically, I'm really am doing great. One thing you can bet you never have to worry about with me, is over training. I tend to err on the side of not training, which makes training a little difficult. I did run/walk another race in addition to our Gaspee Day 5k (34:39, thank you very much). A four mile one (48:30, ouch)....it was a beautiful day out, I started and finished the race, so all is well.

I guess I can see how people get into marathons. This is how I see it happening. You run a 5k, and then a four mile race comes up, if you can do 3.1, you can do four, right? Then you see a 10k, well if you did 4 then how hard is it to do 6? Then you see a 10 mile, then a half marathon and so on. I can see how it can happen, though I don't see it biting me in that way. I'll do what I can when I can. I'll set goals and do my best to reach them. I'll call myself crazy every time I run, and feel happy when the run is over. I'll do it because I tend to quit, and dammit, I need to finish what I start for once. I think I need to put Stewart Smalley on my ipod. "You're good enough, you're fast enough, and doggone it, you can run!"

This is crazy

Almost a year ago, I decided to start taking Tae Kwon Do. It is very challenging, but I love it. There are times when I hurt for a week after class, and times when it's not so hard, but it's teaching me a lot about myself and inner strength and all that kind of crap, so I like it. As you move through the ranks in Tae Kwon Do you earn different color belts, and each belt requires something different. In the future, running will be required for two of my tests. A three mile for one, and for the Black belt a 6 mile. Now, I hate running. If you ask if there is anything I am bad at, it's most sports and running. I usually can physically do it, it's the endurance, the control of breathing that kills me. Once in a while I'll get a day where everything goes wrong, other times it's fabulous. Every time I start I think "who could possibly enjoy this?", when I see people running I think, "You are crazy, why are you doing that?", and yet here I am, trying like a nut to get myself to be a runner.

It started in January when Macy Lady and I decided that we were going to run.

"we need to do something more"

"yes, yes we do. let's run"

"genius! Let's do it".

I wanted to run to prepare for TKD, Macy for the sport of it. We started the couch potato to 5k running program. As luck would have it, another group of people were doing the same thing and their fearless leader was an old friend of mine, The Pilot. The Pilot is one of those crazy runners who actually likes it and has completed a few marathons. He is very good at being an inspiration and challenging us to do better and more each time. I have gone from dreading 90 seconds of running to dreading three miles of running, which is amazing to me.

Every minute of a run is challenging to me. My knees hurt for the first few minutes, my muscles scream at me, but when I can get past that, I fall into a groove in which I just concentrate on keeping my breathing under control. Today was not one of those days. Today, in all honesty, sucked and it sucked hard. I have run our local 5 k route and finished without walking any of it. Today, our group, the Spud Butts, was going to hit it again, and I was psyched. I felt I may be in trouble when I stepped outside and it felt a little too chilly. I did yoga this am to get a good stretch before the run, but the one piece I consistently ignore is a little warm up run before the run. I firmly believe that if I start doing that, life will be better for my inner runner. I just can't seem to leave myself enough time though and I basically started cold, again. Usually I can tough through the initial discomfort ( The Pilot running alongside me saying "suck it up!" always helps too) but it just wasn't happening and as I was compensating for this pain and that pain, every muscle in my lower body started screaming at me to stop. I'm looking at the people in front of me and thinking I can do this, and my limp starts feeling more pronounced, and I see the hill and I think, "aahhhhh...fuck it", and I started walking. That was it...I watched the Butts get further and further away and I turned around with my tail between my legs and walked back to the finish line. I was fighting back tears a little, but I don't feel like I totally gave up, I feel like I prevented injury, yup that's the way I am looking at it, ot I may start crying about it. I am hoping to try it again later today when it's warmer. I think my knees do not enjoy the cold temperatures, and when I went to the Good Dr. Chiro he found that my ankle and my pelvis were all sorts of off kilter which he felt would explain much of the discomfort. So I am going to hold myself to my promise to try to run again later today. Whether it's the full route or a modified version, I need to try.

Though I hate running, and I really do, I see and feel its value. I admire people who just love running, who just go do it and have nary an issue. I can't imagine that will ever be me, but at least I am trying. So I am finding some quotes to keep in mind when I want to stop, apparently I'm not the only one who has discomfort.

Top results are reached only through pain. But eventually you like this pain. You'll find the more difficulties you have on the way, the more you will enjoy your success."

- Juha "the Curel Vaatainen

"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'"

- Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and sub-2:12 marathoner

"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired. When you were younger the mind could make you dance all night, and the body was never tired...You've always got to make the mind take over and keep going."

- George S. Patton, U.S. Army General and 1912 Olympian

"Once you're beat mentally, you might was well not even go to the starting line."

-Todd Williams

"The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy...It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed."

- Jacqueline Gareau, 1980 Boston Marathon champ

“If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail.”

The five S's of sports training are: Stamina, Speed, Strength, Skill and Spirit;

but the greatest of these is Spirit.

--Ken Doherty

Ta da

It seemed that Looking for the Big Yellow Tent was becoming a running blog, which isn't what that is about, so I thought I'd open a new blog up. This will be probably a journal of successes and trials and errors along the way to my running life. So I will place my two previous running posts here, and then keep going. Welcome, I hope you enjoy the journey with me.